August 1, 2005

some pebbles

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:17 pm by changisme

I met Cathy at the bus stop and for some reason I was really happy, and we talked about babysitting and how Daniel and Curtis being males get so much more respect from Danny and A.L. because both of them seem to be at a stage where they only like boys, hate girls. I almost thought, probably a guy babysitter would do them much better, and it would probably fulfill their need of some father figure as well, but the more I thought about them, the more I feel Ayala needs a girl friend desparately. Everytime I see her, I feel she just came out of some running arround with her bros, and her eyes shines as some girl can sit arround and giggle with her. I’m not saying she doesn’t have any friends at school, but she’s only in grade 3 and has been to 3 different schools, it’s hard. Hermom on the other hand is her MOTHER afterall, it’s still different.
 
 
I was talking to Jane briefly about thanksgiving. We are both amazed how some people can just thanks God all the time. I think I’m trying to do that, but it’s hard, because it means to reobserve so manythings I am already so familiar with. At the same time though, it’s so refreshing because after I find one more thing to thank for, I feel I’ve discovered a gift for me hidden somewhere under my bed.
 
 
I’m listening to these chinese worship songs. They sound kinda cheesy. I think it’s just because I’m totally not used to them. Especially after all the 80’s rock I had from last night and also the My Escape song and the BSB CD I’ve been listening to. I don’t know how I can blend secular things with God sometimes. For example, I really like some of the songs we sang last night and we had a good time, but I can’t help praying afterwards, thinking it would be so nice if peoplel ike Doug, like Jill can receive God. I’m pretty sure God is blessing them in many ways, but they would be happier if they had realized that. Not that they are not happy now, in fact just because they are very into their lives, so they don’t bother looking at God, but even though they are satisfied, they still aren’t in certain ways. They pursue an object that they don’t know what and they hide their disappointment by keeping themselves busy. Doug especially seems to feel that his teen times and maybe also early twenties were the only good times and they wouldn’t come back. If Doug saw this, he probably would say, who are you judging me like this? It’s true, he’s been through so much more that I can’t even imagine, and I don’t know him nearly well enough either. God helps me, and him too.
 
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