December 31, 2005

all settled down

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:46 pm by changisme

 I got to see the busy side of Ottawa today. It’s nothing compared to Vancouver, but not as deadish as yesterday for sure. Normand, being so patient, drove me around shopping. We went to Chinatown, which is just one street in one block. The stores in there were rather busy. Everyone was in a holiday mood, kids running around while the parents picking melon seeds off the shelves. Now that I think about it, it’s New Year. I’ve pretty much lost the feeling for it after spending the past two away from my family. Before, it was a time at grandma, grandpa’s place. Even though it would just be a couple days, and there would be exams hanging over my head, but still, kids don’t care. We just liked the unusual occasion.


It’s already New Year’s Day in China. Grandpa said on New Year’s Even Baba and them would eat hot pot. Baba’s favourite is lamb. It’s the main thing anyway. People used to tease him, it’s so smelly, can’ t you smell it? He would say, that’s the whole point! Mama just likes tofu and bak choi. She says the soup is very rich and when the vegetables are cooked in there, it tastes like something from heaven.


Oh yeah, we didn’t just go to Chinatown. We also went to a store called Basics. The foods there are much cheaper. Normand said that there’re not many varieties, but good price. I kind of like it there. Later on, he took me to Bayshore Shopping Centre, it’s a very big mall at the west side of the city. It’s between the old Ottawa and Kanata, which is where all the high tech industry is located. Between Bayshore and Kanata is all government owned land. There’s mostly trees in there now, and I don’t know if they’re ever going to build houses there. I hope not, because it’s very nice to see some greens survive in this –20 winter like today.



I watched Dances with Wolves on TV.  When John Dunbar’s journal was washed away, I started to wonder about the things I’ve wondered many many times: is it possible to let go of the past? A past that has shaped you since very young? There are some past I want to forgive and forget. Then the journal came back, and the whites are once again, white, the Sioux, were yet to be Sioux facing harsh realities.


Suppressing the past doesn’t really work, at least not so by experimentation. Then how? Talking about it works then? I’m not sure about that. It doesn’t seem it would ever go away. I guess in a way, I don’t really mind the past being there, but I do mind that it makes me “anti-whatever-is-past”. I think I’m just being confusing.



If motivation doesn’t matter, then how does God sees the heart?

Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I’ve never felt this way before.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don’t know which way I’m going,
I don’t know which way I’ve come.

Hold my hand inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I’ve waited all these years.

For you, I’d wait ’til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you’ll come, and set me free,
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you say,
"I wouldn’t change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don’t know which way I’m going,
I don’t know what I’ve become.

For you, I’d wait ’til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you’ll come and set me free,
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.




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