May 31, 2006

is my glass half full or half empty?

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:08 am by changisme

I often hope I can be one of those people who look at things in a optimistic way, it’s not that I’m a pessimistic person either. I seem to see the glass as both half full and half empty. It’s actually not a very soothing feeling to have. There is all these complicated emotions that go on in my mind. There would be the sweet of enjoyment and sweetness, accompanied by a coating of sentiment and unsatisfaction. I seem to see the glass not from the side, but fom the top.
I don’t really understand what is perfection. I know that love my God means, love the Truth, the perfect; and love my neighbours means love those around me, those that are not perfect. I think to a certain extend, my experience with perfection is like a function being piecewise continuous, even though over the whole, it’s not continuous, but in a finite interval it is. I like that water in the glass, and I want myself to only see the water, but does that mean I should narrow myself and just live in that pool of water, so I am a mermaid who’s so conservative to swim to the surface of the sea?
I’m not a perfectionist, because I’m very much used to doing a task badly, and I kind of like the dynamic aspects of things, but still, something I regard as very beautiful and enjoyable has a flaw, a cracked handle really is bothersome. It’s like seeing the painting of Monalisa with a big stain right next to her face. it doesn’t exactly make her any less pretty, but somehow, it just really want to stump my feet.

May 30, 2006


Posted in Uncategorized at 8:02 am by changisme

It’s all just very annoying. The courses i want to take are mostly in the first term. I have 6 courses I need to take in the first term, and only 4 in the second. All of them are only offered in one term!! Can you believe it? Arggg. I even thought about taking them next year, but the problem will be that… I was hoping to get a co-op job first term next year, and graduate after second term. The only course I’m sort of thinking about dropping is Linear Algebra because it’s so common that it’s pretty much offered all the time even in the summer. On the other hand, It’s been more than two years since I took the pre-req and I will need some of that stuff in another course.Why can’t UBC just be this much greedier and give us some more opportunity to spend our money?? Stats department is very nasty, both Experiment Design and Regression are offered only in one term and they need to be taken together. What d heck, i don’t want to stay in undergrad for 7 years!
So… since I need to make a decision, I will drop Linear Algebra, not that it’s a beautiful decision or anything, but well.. it’s called "Applied Linear Algebra", so I assume that it will use the theory we learnt in Intro and use them?? Then I’ll just try using them in Geometry. You’re just trying to linearize (straighten up) everybody! I’m not gonna go with it, HAA! DUHHHH~~~C

May 29, 2006


Posted in Uncategorized at 8:58 pm by changisme

Thanks to Mr. Freeman, I (well, he did) found the answer to why Geometry is called 几何 in chinese. It’s actually all so very simple. It’s just a phonetic translation. It just sounds so different that I couldn’t have possibly imagined. A century ago, it was called 形学, meaning the study of shapes. I have no idea why they changed, it could be just they started to adopt a rather systematic discipline. This is from the chinese Wikipedia, which is quite interesting!


Posted in Uncategorized at 2:47 pm by changisme

我总在想,中文很多名字真是让人想不通,代数为什么叫代数,也许是因为常用笼统的甲,乙,丙将数论公理化.这还好猜.但几何为什么叫几何呢?我在网上到处也找不到.我想,"何"好像是有形的意思吧,几呢,自然是有数的意思啦.也不知道我猜得对不对.我想,应该去问问张杭,他可能知道吧.I even googled in English, to find how the chinese name for "geometry" came along, I haven’t found anything understandable. It’s amazing how language evolves throughout the years. i don’t even know if "geometry" was taken seriously by the academia three thousand years ago.

May 27, 2006

Run For Light

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:16 am by changisme

It was my third time going to Run For Light last night. I still remember the first time I went, I was marshalling with Doug and his daughter Paige. It was cold to stand at the light tower by the water, but paigie hopping up and down was all so energetic. Last year, I knew the group a lot better, and Shawn brought her youth group. Moe needed a guide so I did it. Last year, he was so committed to win, but wasn’t all that ready physically. This year, he trained for goalball and we almost ran the whole way. I can’t believe how far he’s come.
It’s amazing that I’ve already known the group for two years. More than two years actually. It feels like I’ve knownt hem forever. I think I’m just at a very comfortable mode of schooling + goalball + wrestling with God. It seems like the two primary things I’ve been doing for the past two or three years. Everything else, as exciting as it is, is like those flash movies, solidates and then fades. There are so many beautiful things, but they are like a glimps of perfection, like something only my thoughts and imaginations can dwell upon. 许多现在我看为美好的事情,觉得火一样灼热的东西,都好橡不知道什么时候就会没有了.世事任人,都好像匆匆过客,我总想,也许这些我每周见两次的朋友也有一天会被我自己的决择放在记忆的影集里,学校有一天也会给我一张本应使我欢心鼓舞的毕业证书.

May 26, 2006

When I’m compelled to give thanks

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:58 am by changisme

When I’m compelled to give thanks,
I smile to a flower,
a flower that tears as the day begins.
I thank You.
When I’m compelled to give thanks,
I hug a tree,
a tree that is never melodramatic,
but still committed to the vastness of the forest.
I thank You.
When I’m compelled to give thanks,
I leaf through a book,
a book that pains the hearts of the readers,
and yet takes them onto a road that stretches far faraway.
I thank You.
I really want to give thanks
when i wanted to cry over a spec in the sapphire,
I see what is given to me is a piece of You so precious and beautiful.
I thank You, my God.

May 25, 2006

When you are old…

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:47 am by changisme

Somehow I can understand why mama wants me to get rich more and more intensely. I guess when people get older, they are worried about their retirement, especially for people like her who don’t have retirement salary. How people survive after they get old? There days people live as long as they work after retirement. There are people we know who had to move to remote places in order to be able to afford care takers and so on. She doesn’t want to live in some place without public transit right? I guess it is a problem for her. I don’t know if I can asure her that I will take care of her regardless of my wealth, but she doesn’t seem to believe these youthful promises, plus I’m not used to be cheesy anyway. 说起来,她也五十了.外婆现在是有保障的人,妈妈却没有.她自然会是担心的,前几天她一直在说,回到温哥华后,她要在COSTCO找一个工作,这样她老了怎么也会有点儿保障.可是那才多一点儿呀?何况,她五十岁才开始干,也不知道能不能升官儿.很多不奢侈的人想要财富大概多是出于心中的不安全感.我也许这几天工作从早到晚让她觉得我并没空理她,我也不好受,但我该怎么办呢?我怎么才能让她知道我是不会让她过不好的呢?我怎么对敌能让她知道,就算我今后要工作,周末的时候总是可以和她一起出次门吃个饭呢?I know that even if i tell her plainly, she wouldn’t be sure, objectively it’s true. Only God can be sure, but she sees people who deboutly believe in God but live a difficult life in their old age. She’s a very subjective person, so she doesn’t really look at what the people feel themselves, she only sees that she wouldn’t like that kind of life.
I guess I can only try to assure her.

May 24, 2006

If I’m not a geek, then what?

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:50 pm by changisme

Oh man, I tried not to look into what courses I will be taking this coming year, the bordom of work made it so hard to resist. After a day of work, I finally typed into the browser "" and clicked into course schedule. Looking at the courses like stochastic processes, biomathematics, topics on geometry… JOY #%^&$^&*^&*( welled up in my mind. I then discovered that I have all the pre-requisits for them! The only courses I am obligated to take are MATH 320/321 real analysis and STAT306 Regression and MATH 303 Stochastic analysis. The other 5 or 6 courses of the year are all UP TO ME TO PICK!!! I am so excited!!!
The reason I’m so excited about these courses is that they are actually specific. Courses like Mathematical Statistics or Calculus are just tools. Even the Partial Differential Equation course I’m taking now, it’s semi specific I think. I don’t really get to understand it. It’s like being handed a bunch of tools and told how to use them verbally, but never really get to use them.
I was wondering if I’ll also be taking survey sampling. it will be interesting to learn the theory after working with surveys for Stats Can where everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, there is survey sampling. Oh and I can’t believe I’m qualified to take biomathematics too. The only biology course other than a lab course, bio 120 is the pre-req plus some math courses on top. This will be so exciting.
I don’t know if I should put a tag on this entry, so that in the future when I ever read it again, I won’t be so shocked that I sound like such a geek, but I AM very excited. It probably started before I even went to Ottawa! First term third year really did me some good, or bad.

May 23, 2006


Posted in Uncategorized at 9:31 pm by changisme

Okay, I haven’t had such a good laugh for a long time. 我和二姨聊天,说我毕业干什么的事儿,我说我不喜欢坐办公室,这一年把我坐得烦得不成.我想就当老师了,拿个特殊教育的硕士,挺好.又能时不常地动动,又不是体力活儿.二姨说,我想动,得当导游,刘导!我说,怎么听着跟拍电影儿的似的?她说那还不好??我说,那可不好,没日没夜的.她说,年级轻轻的,怎么这么挑?我说,我反正也不想挣大钱,还不挑点儿?你猜她说什么?

May 22, 2006

the drive

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:34 pm by changisme

On the way to shopping, my mom was talking to me about different people all work hard and earn their fortune. Many buy big houses and so on. I said that if I want something, I usually can be wreckless enough to get it. I’m just a go getter, but the fact about earning a fortune is that I really dont’ have the drive.
She said, "Okay, that’s because you don’t have a concrete goal. Now, I give you a goal." Your next goal is to buy a house in Vancouver." I was kind of baffled. Wow…
I do really understand that she counts on me and I always thought that we will share the same roof when I’m established, but it came out really odd when she actually says it. She said that a year ago, she wanted to buy a house or an apartment but I didn’t want to take care of it, so she didn’t buy it. Somehow she thinks that I’m regretting my short-sightedness and want to work for a house.
Really, I didn’t know how to deny it, because it all came out just very very odd.

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