June 18, 2006


Posted in Uncategorized at 8:37 am by changisme

I think the problem with cloudiness is not that there are so many clouds, it’s more the clouds are melted up together that they no longer show their shades and shapes. As much as I am sure that they are there, I do not see them. The state of believing and yet not grasping is actually not very pleasant. On the other hand it’s not a state to be denied for I, at the same time, know the limitation of my own understanding. Having something that I can comfortably believe is there but at the same time outside of me and readily persued is somehow very soothing.
People always tell me that we can’t conclude everything in terms of feelings, but what exactly is the difference between "I feel…" and "This suits me" or "I personally think that…". For one thing, much of my reasoning is geared by my feelings, the trees are FOR SURE green sometimes and PROBABLY green at other times. Secondly, it’s all a bunch of electrical snaps. Is it just one involves more hormones while the other doesn’t? If someone is hormonally stable, or their reflex in adjusting hormone levels is poor, are they just moreobjective?
My feelings are like my child these days. On the one hand, I cultivate them; on the other, I try to gear them towards the right direction. Before, I used to think they are my tools. I can used them and abandon those that are not useful or even dangerous, but I guess it doesn’t really work that way.

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