July 22, 2006

there are just things you don’t like, what can you do…

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:59 pm by changisme

Today was fun, I was painting for Homestart under Curt’s supervision with Jane and Zoe and some other guys and gals. It was very nice. I think we were very efficient actually despite my poor wall painting skills. Curt kept on blaming himself for being critical, and i don’t think I made him feel any better, but he never really was a jerk in front of my eyes at least. i think I just sort of made him feel bad, but anyway, we had a good time, even though I was in this weird mood. Haha.
Probably I just wasn’t in a good enough mood to be understanding, or it was just that Monster House movie we saw, when I got home and phoned my mom, she told me that she saw Superman I today, and compare to S return she saw a few weeks ago, she likes the first better. I was agreeing, but then she said it was because Clark and Louise in the second movie are fatter than the ones in the first.
They are not fat for Christ’s sake. Fat, means overweight, and if those people were overweight. oh well, why are we so sensitive towards body fat? Okay, I’m not so much better, but I’m really annoyed by my mom’s constant attention on this kind of thing. I probably wasn’t all that patient, I said, "well, Louis has a kid now right? So it’s only natural for her to be rounder." I know it’s a dumb comment, but i really didn’t know what to say.
I know I know… I’m the one to talk eh? I really don’t think one day when i have a boyfriend, I’d want a stack of bones you know? Oh and for the record, I’m not gonna be a stack of bones either, not anytime soon.
I’m sorry, I know it’s very useless and damaging to complain about your mother, but I just feel kind of scared, because these concepts are just like sewage, which I see in my own backyard. I don’t think it’s entirely my mother’s fault as to where those dirty water comes from, but at least, I don’t want anymore on my lawn. I just push the door tight, as if that would help. I guess it’s bad to really close the door on your parent too. It’s better to love and be open, but I AM scared. I don’t think I can change her, or not even myself.

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