October 2, 2006

resolved anger

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:30 pm by changisme

I really had an angry morning. One of my prof was just pure mean. I don’t know what’s her problem. She took so long to sign a form which literally took her 2 min when I sat there. Not only that, when I went, she’s all mad and said, You need to give me time to sign this, I’m very busy. Have way through filling in the form, she lifted her head, and said, I know what to fill in, I’ve filled out these things before, what do you think I don’t know? I just need time to fill in. I was like… where did that come from? I didn’t even say anything! Then I said, if you are busy, I could come another time. Then she said, that’s not the issue, I said I’ll sign it now. What the freak!!! Then what is the issue then? It’s not like I came here pointing my finger at her nose, just asking right?
I was stupid too, before I went in the afternoon, I went in the morning too, and that wasn’t her office hour. She saw me standing outside the door before I knocked or said anything. "I don’t have office hour right now, her face was so long and serious, I just didn’t know what to say. Maybe I’m just comparing her with other people, which is probably not good practice, but most people would at least say, come back at such and such time, or is your question long or short or something along the line. 
Anyways, in the afternoon, there was someone else there and I let the other person go in front of me even though I was there first, simply because I thought I’d get her to sign the form. Guess what she said? She asked me to go outside even though the other person totally didn’t mind. Okay, it’s math, it’s not kissing, although I know she loves math. I stood there for amost half an hour and then got in. Then it was the form episode.
I really didn’t want to ask her the mathe question anymore, I just wanted to spit in her face.("giver her some colour see see !!~~~" LOL) My gut reaction was just do to her what I did to my junior high physics teacher. Gosh, I really dont’ know what kind of a knot she has in her brain. God, can you keep me sane? can you keep her sane?
Somehow, I just held that anger inside, but I must have been turning red, and a tear c;ame out of the eye which she couldn’t see because of the angle (LOL). I couldn’t get up, so I asked her the homework question, and well… I guess she gave me somewhat a hint (I told her I wanted to use Cauchy Schwartz, and I wrote it out, and she said my CS is wrong, and that’s it). Anyways, I scribbled something, and she scribbled something, and I think I just kepted asking about math, and she talking about math, and it soothed both of us. I was like a kitten man! My mother wouldn’t believe this. Then at the end, I lifted my head and I saw her face once again, the once stern face like a white washed wall. I couldn’t quite see it clearly because it was against the light from the window, but I saw a set of white teeth, in the shape of a crescent (going upwards LOL). I felt like her smile was shining on me.
She has a rather angelic smile I thought. I think I smiled too, and I didn’t smile out of obligation anymore. I think her smile is geniun, as is mine.

1 Comment »

  1. wanli said,


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