October 12, 2006


Posted in Uncategorized at 10:10 pm by changisme

I have started experience, not long ago, how differences in people can be beautiful too. It’s just a start, I think the feeling of appreciation is still not very dominant yet. I have felt the moments of zeal when people tell me about their very interesting experience. I, once in a while, get a spark of awe seeing how people around me are made of. Still… I feel I don’t know how to deal with people’s differences.
Soemtimes, I don’t know how to look at other people’s lives, those who grew up under such different enviornments and conditions. Somehow, I keep on imagining myself in the position, and trying to see what I would be like. I don’t really think that is a very helpful approach though. I find it a rather interesting starting line for a very uninteresting story. Supposedly, if I can be better at observing other people like taking a walk in the endownment lands, seeing those interesting trees and hearing the russling of animals. I can enjoying being together and yet apart from all of that.
It’s just so difficult with people though. Maybe it’s because I’m still quite a bit too similar to others. Afterall, I expect I’m more relatable to a human than a squirrle, but you never know. 🙂
It’s one of those things, difference I mean, when they are flagged, you see them more, but if the opposite, similarity is flagged, you’d see those more. We are actually quite similar in one way or another. This is probably a rather good excuse for me to not blame myself. Nevertheless, I’d rather learn to take a walk in the jungle of people around me. I rather have quite a lot of them around me. Never before in my life have I had so much attention from other people, even if it’s just the odd few that strangely like to hang out with me.
* * *
Something unrelated, but came to my mind as I was talking about attention. My mom said again I was so calliky. Maybe partly it’s because I’m just sinfully crave for too much attention even though I’ve already had plenty. I wonder if this kind of craving can be smoothed off over meditation as I grow. Othe rthings can change as one mature, this one seems to be extra hard.

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