December 30, 2006

who said the world is small?

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:03 pm by changisme

I guess I’ve repeated the same thing over and over again, but I can’t help but sign helplessly once again. I know as a fact that life is not about fairness. Why are there people live a life being told that they are worthless? Why are there people living a life shadowed by deaths of their own children, their flesh and blood? What’s more, why do I feel that I can’t do anything? If I were a better person, I would be sure that nothing is hopeless, and if I were a better person, I would know that I can do things that make a difference. It is now that the sight of a whole world is blinding, and it is now that I feel small. It is now that I should be looking up and ask, ask for the next step of my monotonous adventure on this earth. I guess it is always wise to keep in mind that the approximation of any given short interval of a differentiable function, can usually be a straight line. I will not think about the possibility of the curve over time shaping like a rainbow and lighting up the faces of those whom I love. No I will not think about the day when we all stand together looking into the stars and the moon and the sun as we grow into one of them reflecting each others glory. I really won’t think about these, they are probably not going to happen until we all go to that so called Heaven.
I think authors are pretty evil creatures. They tell you how other people suffer. you might say, well, they tell you how other people appreciate the world as well, but wouldn’t you think most people appreciate the world by default? Is it just me who have lived a very smooth life and think the world is happy happy? Or you might say that it is the "how" other people appreciate that is more of importance. Does that make me appreciate more? Does that really exceed the beauty I have seen of the world with my own eyes? Why would I want all these extansion of my own mind? It’s as if I want to intrude into every cubic meter of air with a fragment of my mind, or is it a fragment of my heart? I am constantly tempted but at the same time paralyzed by the abstruse reality, which is so very [    ]*.
I don’t think at this point I could wish that I were more ignorant, maybe I will some day, but I do wish that I can be less paralyzed and less tempted to harden my heart and say that I can do nothing and that is alright. Here, I pray…
*fill in the blank with any and every adjective of all languages and more beyond.

1 Comment »

  1. olee said,

    happy new year, chang!!!
    🙂 be happy in the new pig year, my little piggi! 😀

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