March 20, 2007

my flowery world… too many distractions

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:02 pm by changisme

Life is in its fullness. People (like me) don’t tend to really succeed or find my one real passion is because there are so much around me that is worth loving and pursuing. A chinese parent would call it too much distraction from your academia, and a life mentor would say it’s too many choices in our social environment. It really seems to be true. I mean even though I care about these alphas and betas, it’s just almost impossible to really say, this is my pursuit and my talents lie here, where I want to give myself to the world.
If I can only do one thing, or I can only be allowed one vocation, then either I give up on life, or I dive right into my one and only pit of life. It might well be that my potential (if there is any to start with @_@) be stretched to its fullness. On the other hand, a life such as this is rather stressful isn’t it? I would be hanging onto one lifeline afraid of the botomless abyss down below.
People are too conflicting. They say that God lvoes us and just wants us to live in the world and provide us with these pink and blue coloured icings, and let us choose. We are like children and have a hard time choosing between the two thinking they make a difference like day from night, while really we can’t make enough of a difference to really matter. The flow of things awill still go on. At the same time, people tell me that we are given the choice and our actions really matters to others. The latter seems more evident in a micro level, which is really mostly what I do or should care really. My choices do matter. Well… okay do I really believe that deep down?
While really I live a life of joy and little accomplishment, is that really a responsible way to live? Or … does one have to make a difference in one concentrated area to not waste a life that is given by grace?

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