March 21, 2007

it’s just about how I lose myself when I’m too excited/stressed

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:48 pm by changisme

How easily I get distracted from the course of purpose! I guess going to the tournament is very exciting, but I have been having such a bad attitude towards other things with people. Really, it’s just a tourney, and every person around me is more important, the fact clear as water. I guess it’s hard to see through the clearest crystal when I’m either too happy or too sad.

I guess why I need to refocus my vision really. What are the priorities and what simply look big because they are right very close up. There are things look so big and fresh, as if they are giant roses dripping red. I am so close that I just wna to stick out my tongue and think I can get a drop of the sweetness. I’m rather easily dazzled that way.

A lot of times we don’t like how we are born because we can’t do certain things and seem to rely on other people. I, at least, used to be ashamed about these sort of things sometimes, but really it’s a big humbling experience. I can see how much I need help from othe rpeople and want to offer myself likewise. Okay… I’m not actually that much of a "good person", but at least I try. It’s dumb to only feel guilty… better to actually change and do it, so I wouldn’t need to be eaten up by guilt eh?

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