September 5, 2007

closure of the math library

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:10 am by changisme

I can’t believe the beloved math library, the library that is small but zozy, the library that is a basket-full of stressful and crowded memories is closed in our generation.
It was quite harsh looking into the glassdoor of the library, where grayness seeps out rather than the aging ceiling light. From the door I couldn’t see the lounge with the back couches wide and soft. I could only imagine I suppose. When I was alone in those couches, sunken into its quiet comfort, I drifted in and out of sleep with a binder on my lap. When I was with a crowd of friends, paper swish-swashing, we argued and explained all those unreal concepts. Didn’t they say that Math can’t really be understood but to be gotten used to? I forever struggled with that statement in this corner of the campus. A youthful agitation brooding in pride makes me think, I can understand, somehow, and yet the two walls of journals resting comfortably in an angle, the sophiticated, long and discouraging equations marching across the page, I can’t believe they could just be there, in such an aggregate bathing in the sunlight of this very small library that smelled archaic. It’s the contradictory nature of this bizarre philosophy that attracts us.
Just behind the wall there is a shelf that I often felt drawn to browse. They were books that were not technical. They were Miscellanious writings of mathematicians pouring out their sometimes annoyingly proud nature in elegance. It’s just that one shelf, back to back sharing the same wall with the progression of the descipline documented in all the journals. So many times I have attempted to read something from the sunny side of this wall, but soon failed and moved on to the other side of the wall where stories and real people seemed to sit in via via. It’s like a ticket office I suppose, it’s often odd peeking into a square little window and see a head with suit and tie and a badge. I was often tempted to go around and see what colored socks they are weaering, or maybe they could even be wearing slippers, why not? You only need to display that square little bit professionaly.
Now it’s closed. I don’t know where the books will go, probably blending into all the others stored in the rolling shelves in some 5th or 6th floors of a big and new library. I’m generally a forward looking person. I suppose I’m not hating the moving on of things, but I can’t help but feeling a sense of melancholy maybe because I"m leaving, likely. Probably I will have nowhere to come back to, nowhere to find a small table with a sticker of big insects printed on it to warn people the harm food and drink will bring to the books, nowhere with the same smell of old wooden bookshelves. Everywhere is growing anew.

1 Comment »

  1. K.K. said,

    To let you know, they closed the MacMillan library too.  It\’s really sad. 

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