September 13, 2007

absent minded update

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:52 pm by changisme

so many things happen that I hardly know how to start. Somehow detailed discriptions often seem unattractive maybe because I tell enough people about it that I feel annoyed to write it all out again.

it is weird to have tons of floaters swimming round and round in my eye after Lasik. They are like little shadows of various densities and shapes that float here and there, but also response to my eye movement. It’s like looking at some debris in slide under a microscope. These little shadows often send me procrastinating for a long time. It’s just like looking at weird patterns from anywhere in nature. I suppose I’m part of nature am I not?

I went observing an AMS council meeting again just the night before my GRE. Why oh why did I do that and end up coming home at 11:30pm?? Anyway, it turned out to be quite dramatic at times. When Matt presented the VFM amendments, with Mark the idea and financial contirbuter explaining the math on the side, many councilors realized that they are rather confused about this whole issue and would like to understand it better. Some people believe that the point of having a committee is so that councillers would not need to worry about the details and handover some authorities, while others want to fully comprehend the scheme before passing the motion. Anyway, the motion of whether or not to pass the amendments turned into whether or not to consider it in this meeting in the first place. Half of the members wanted to pass it then, the other half wanted to postpone. The situation lasted for awhile until, for the 4th time of voting and counting, the council decided to postpone the motion. Either these meetings are too dull so something such as this amuses me entirely, or it is in fact noteworthy. In general though, I think I am not a cynical person, and hold quite positive views of these people who try quite hard to make things better. it further makes me more self conscious of how much i withhold in committing into anything that really matters to other people, like things in the Navs or responsibilities in UBC. Things I have easily jumped into have always just involve myself, and the success or failure often only impact myself. As busy as I am, I am still afraid to take on responsibilities that effect changes in other people’s lives. That’s qutie a shame…

Oh, along the line of my very inwardly life, classes are going alright. I think I am less readily mathematical this september than last. I don’t know why, but my mind seems to be fuller and fleshier this term. It makes me wonder while applying for grad school, am I really putting myself into a theoretical environment? I would not do badly in areas that are more multi-facetted, like in commercial quantitative analysis, operational research or even environmental hygene. Do I want to get into stats simply because of inertia? Well… I don’t know… I’m such an absent minded person… i really start to once again question my pursuit.

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