October 6, 2007

the Home Song Stories (no spoilers included)

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:44 pm by changisme

We saw the Home Song Stories (VIFF) today. it’s a very strongly emotional film. I don’t know if it’s just me, but together with the past few foreign films I saw, Babble and the Labrynth, I’m getting a little scared of watching foreign drama now. They seem to really snake into my psychology and squeeze my heart. They hurt.

It reminds me of how people say the horror movies from Hollywood are scary because of their special effects, whereas the Japanese version of the Grudge was just plain scary… In any sense, I wonder if I’m becoming more aware of the hard lives people lead like the boy in Home Song Stories, or more desensitized.

In a way, I don’t identify with it all that much, because I grew up in a reasonably stable household. There are emotional things growing up, but then again almost everyone does to at least a certain extend. It is strange though, that most people including me, as normal as I am, struggle with how we love our parents. I think the film maker has pretty much decided that he doesn’t love his mother, and what is left is an inevitable bond and forgiveness. Even then, he struggles with where is his place in her life and what her his. I think there are good things and bad things about what my own mother, and most of the things she does and says have strong impact on me. Aside from the bond we have, the one that is created by the fact that she is the person I’ve lived with the longest and during probably the most memorable period of my life, there is more. It is just so hard to know how I should love her. Can I simply like somethings of her and not others? Can I disregard the things I don’t like? She’s a piece of work in her entirety, any kind of disintegration not only is unhealthy, but also impossible.

Further, it’s not even the fact that she’s not perfect. God is perfect supposedly, but it’s just as hard to put him in the right position. You’d think that someone who is always right and always provides would be so easy to love, just like carpet fitting in a room fitting, supportive, harmonic. But all mothers, and God, they are real, so real that they are not cut according to the shape of my room. They do not cut corners, they are beautiful but don’t always look right under my furnitures. Sometimes they even take their own liberty to take me up to a carpet ride, against my own will or not.

I guess the good thing is that I want them in my room, floating or however. Well… okay probably not my mother so much :p, but you know what I mean. Perhaps saying I love the struggle is an overstatement, but at least I am hopeful in the inresolution.

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