November 19, 2007

a grape

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:01 pm by changisme

Just a grape, one of those that is so round and large, like a drop of amethyst with a foggy veil. Clover, the puppy played with it like as if it were a sibling. Though the grape is not wild, and hence rather tough looking, it was still a grape! I wonder how Clover knew to have mercy on her little paws and little teeth, so that the grape would still be round enough to roll. Each time, she would push it with her black and furry nose, as the grape rolled on the hard wood floor, clover raced after the agile escapee and pounced on it. Undoubtedly, Clover won every round of the game. I thought it would be more interesting if she had a real opponent, like me, so I kicked the grape lightly with my big toe, sending the prey to an unexpected direction. Clover’s apparently more excited, shaking her body this way and that as she rocketed towards the intelligent target. She even brought it back to me, over and over again. Slowly, the grape lost its flamboyance and youthfulness, wrinkles dug into its flesh as Clover rubbed it with her little furry ball of a head. It rolled more and more slowly.
I felt a little sad, whether it was for Clover, so lonely, with no one really understanding her, no one really have time to even try to understand her, no sibling, no parents other than the little master who has a million other things going on in his life, or it was for the grape, one that seemed for awhile to be so great to have made another’s life beautiful and engaging but almost in an instant to have made hardly any difference, but still died in the trying, or even worse… unaware of its own purpose, I don’t know.

It is hard to really understand what purpose really means. I find it a rather purposeless concept at times, especially when it’s made too grand and big. I live today not for the end of age. We were reading Newbigin’s book, and I find one thing he said quite well,

"The world looks like that because of the lenses through which it is seen. The lenses themselves are not seen. We do not look at them, but see through them."   —- Lesslie Newbigin

We are not to be here to institute the purpose of life, to others or to ourselves. Our ways of perceiving the world is not to be made pretentious, but to be lived in the day to day love, games of chasing and preying. What is different is the way we see the world and those that live in it, or rather how we slowly grow to, learn to see the world in that way.


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