February 10, 2008

radio

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:51 pm by changisme

I’ve always had a special attachment to radio. Back in the times when I could actually do homework and listen to radio at the same time, I had them on all day, now that I’m less busy than previous terms, I find myself glued to the radio again. I guess it’s also that before I didn’t like the Canadian radio, because I felt they were too boring, but now… i think they are actually pretty good.  Maybe because my interests have shifted or broadened.

Last night, I called in for the first time in many many years during a Chinese station. I remember the last time I called in was still when I was really young to answer some question about trees. The last time I wrote to the station was grade seven. I sent them an essay and they dissected, which was the purpose of the program. The last time I interacted with them at all I sent them a song I wrote for a program, but then later found out that they didn’t have time to open it at all, because many moons later, somehow my letter was picked out sealed as a price draw, and I won a huge bag of instant noodles. Maybe because I was just hitting puberty, surges of anger sealed my mouth. They actually wanted me to sing that stupid song (which I can still remember every note and every word), but I couldn’t even burp a sound. I don’t know if I was humiliated or just angry at the fact that they were celebrating for the fact that they didn’t open my letter. What was worse was that they actually asked me if I wrote it myself. I must have looked really thick. Not mention the fact that I had a babhead with bangs as long as the back covering my not so prominent eyes.

After that, till now, even though I listen to the radio all the time, I always feel any sort of interaction is stupid. I think it’s either the same kind of mentality I have about answer the teacher’s questions all the time or the mentality of voting. In other words, it’s either I feel I’m too good or it, or I’m to small for it, or a mixture of both.

When I dialed in last night, it was like a re-encounter with a friend that I always knew existed. There was the bitterness of the memory that somebody said my voice was not suitable for radio. There was also the sweetness that someone in a little room with big earphones on was talking to me, just like many other big earphoned show host would around the world. There’s the mystery of what the host looked like, behind such beautiful voices. There’s the other guy behind the "scene" trying to put on the right music at the right time and answer the phone calls before hand.

I guess I still just like the listening of radio over all the other interactions at this point, but it’s nice to get back an old friend like this.

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