February 27, 2008

GPA – disambiguity

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:13 pm by changisme

Did you know that GPA also stand for Gravida/Para/Abortus, the number of pragnency, viable births and miscarriages? The thought provoking thing is that it’s also sometimes referred to as the history of a woman. Living in a post-surrogate environment as I feel it, especially with the focus on career, it’s rather foreign to think of this GPA as the real history of myself. The other academic GPA almost feel more on the central stage of my history than this one.
This is almost frightening realization to be honest. Being a woman is such a big part of my identity. I wouldn’t need to extend GPA too far, but just to puberty, the awakening of the womb. It was as if I finally stepped onto a wabbly bridge which connects to a destination in the misty unknown. Is it womanhood? Is it motherhood? The direction of the bridge is certainly not my choice, and yet neither did I want to steer it one way or another. However, the only thing that is clear is the blatent uncertainty ahead.
I wonder how woman in the past see conception, when they did not have birth control or independence from their husbands. It must really be the history of women, because just like wars and peace, we somehow make them happen, but feel that we didn’t. It’s as if the devines are pushing our hands, the battle of the gods maybe.
Of course it’s also not always to be escaped. Many women (maybe someday I will be one of them) treasures motherhood, at least before they got their feet wet. It’s in our mind, and part of the reason that GPA history is written the way each of us women have.
It’s certainly not paranoia that women wrestle over this GPA, either in our minds, or in our bodies, or both. Birth is such an important part of this world, it should be charted separately from all the other activities, marriage, imprisonment, divorce, first step, etc. What history means to me is how we as individuals somehow get linked to this bulk of human existence. It’s like corn kernals on a cob, and birth of another being lock us so much tighter into the rest of the race.
The relationship between us and this piece of history of ours is complex, hard to say if we are writing it, or it’s writing us. It’s certainly harder to handle than the GPA on my transcript. When I’m old and gray, what will my GPA be? What will my history be?

1 Comment »

  1. Catherine Dyan said,

    interestingly enough, i just learned about this today, too (though we use a slightly different term in maternity).it is amazing how each of those stages are so different and so important to note in a woman\’s life biologically.i still love reading your thoughts… i\’ve been dropping in once in a while but haven\’t actually spoken to you for so long… i\’m not even really sure where you are.  will keep in touch, though…

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