February 16, 2010

can’t stop the fear

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:56 pm by changisme

How do people set their axes in life? What makes some occasions more joyeous than others? Once and once again, I find myself confused about what I should or should not do, it is when I don’t know whether my pursuit is making me happy. Life doesn’t teach me to take it easy. It shivers into an epileptic spasm of colours and urges me to run after it.

Is it really worth pondering on the principle of whether to enjoy here and now, or to envision what is to come entertaining all possibilities, fear the fears and hope the hopes? I find we grow up with a certain axiom of what happiness means, either by birth or by growing up. Our mind somehow is set in its ways, what is the train track we should travel on.

It’s so hard to stop myself from fearing the unknown sometimes. Almost everything I can control I have made sure to be under control and predictable, but there are so many others out of my grasp.

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